Asher and the mint candy

mint candyLast night I was stacking the plates in the cupboard after unloading the dishwasher. Suddenly, one of the smaller plates shattered in the middle of the stack.

Upon closer investigation, I found that the plate was one that had endured one of Asher’s experiments a few years ago.

One morning I awoke to the smell of something burning. I rushed to the kitchen to find Asher with a small plate holding a pile of black ash. Groggy and confused I asked him what it was.

“I don’t want to say,” he replied and ran into the next room.

I could tell he was upset, so I backed off from scolding him. I asked why he was so upset. The poor little guy explained that he was trying to cook a mint in the microwave. He was very upset that it didn’t turn out the way he had envisioned it.

“How long did you cook it?”

“I pushed the ‘4’ button because I’m 4.”

So, in case you’re wondering how long it takes to turn a mint into a pile of ash (and probably catch fire), four minutes will work nicely.

After two years, the charred mark on the plate had almost completely worn off before the plate spontaneously burst into a hundred pieces. The stress must’ve been too much for it. I can’t blame it, though. Asher is glad to see it go. Ever since that fateful day, we made sure to give the same plate to Asher whenever we got out the small plates…just as a reminder that he shouldn’t play with the microwave.

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Asher and the Food Experience

A few weeks ago it was “P” day at kindergarten. The kids each brought a food item which started with the letter “P”.

When it was time to go, Asher hadn’t finished all of his food. So, he decided to take it home. After picking him up, Tina wondered what the funny smell was coming from Asher’s backpack. She found his (sideways) plate in the bag. At the bottom of the backpack she found a collection of food: pineapple, pretzels, peanuts, and of course, a pickle.

I can just imagine the thoughts running through his blonde, spikey haired head. “I have plate full of food. It is time to go home. I’ll just put this plate in my backpack.”

He’s actually a smart little guy, so you’d think he’d learn that it didn’t work very well.

Last week they had “M” day. As part of the food experience, Asher’s class was given little cups of chocolate Milk. I probably don’t need to tell the rest of the story.

This time, he was a little upset that all of his papers in his backpack were covered in chocolate milk. “This chocolate milk will taste great when I get home.  I’ll just put it in my…oops”

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Disclaimer: Asher is very particular about facts. I heard this story second-hand, so some of the details might not be exactly correct. Sorry if something isn’t quite right.

Asher and the iPod Nano

After leaving Applebees Asher tells me, “My meal came with a toy.”

Applebees isn’t the fanciest place around, but they don’t reduce themselves to  fast-food trickery by bribing children with worthless plastic toys. “Oh, really? What is it?”

“An iPod Nano,” he responds.

“Wow, that sounds like a pretty good deal. I don’t know of many kindergarteners with an iPod.”

“Yep. It is right here in my pocket,” he tells me…tapping his front pocket on his pants.

“Let me see that…” I can tell there is something in his pocket, so I try to retrieve the item.

“I’ll show you!”

Sure enough, Asher produces a silver iPod Nano from his pocket. He connects the earbuds to his ears and begins selecting his playlist.

“Wait a minute. Where did you get that?”

With a crooked grin and one eyebrow raised he tries to convince me, “It was part of my meal at Applebees.”

“I already know that is your mom’s iPod.”

Asher giggles.

It turns out, he had it in his pocket all day. I’m not a big fan of the thing since Apple’s latest firmware chokes when used with Linux, but it must be pretty indestructible if it can survive a day in Asher’s pants.

Asher and the Easter Egg

Working on the annual Christmas newsletter I remembered a story about Asher. I figured I’d better record it before I forget.

In the afternoon on Easter, Tina had gone to visit her grandparents. I stayed home with the kids because they were all just a little sick. I was busy cooking dinner when Asher approached me in the kitchen.

Motioning toward the paper towels, “Can I have one of those that is a little bit wet?” he asked.

“Why do you need one?”

“Because this is leaking,” he responded, holding a plastic Easter egg in his right hand.

“What is it leaking?” I asked.

I assumed he had filled it with water from the bathroom sink or something similar.

“Pee,” he responded, as if I should have known that already.

“PEE!?!? How did it get pee in it?”

“I peed in it.” (I guess I should have known the answer to that one.)

“Asher, why would you do that?”

Sensing he was about to get into trouble he responded, “Well, I told the truth.”

Then we began our second treasure hunt of the day. This time, we had to find all of the places on the floor where pee had leaked out of the egg. Asher ended up not getting into trouble. I think I forgot after laughing about the whole thing.

What are we going to do with this kid?